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September 23rd - Welcome to the Valley

Wendy:  We spent the weekend doing errands, hanging with the cats, and visiting family/friends at home, and left this morning for Yosemite Valley .  There is nothing in the world like entering Yosemite …its so unreal relative to anywhere else we’ve climbed.  Rock mecca is an understatement.

We followed Hwy 140 (the scenic tour) into Yosemite , and in the town of Merced passed the “ Yosemite Wildlife Museum , Gun Shop, and Shooting Range .”  Interesting.  We were tempted to stop, just to see how those three things could co-exist, but decided it might be too scary.  We stopped at Camper World instead (see picture below), a more humane but no less scary place.  Andy’s excitement over the fold up dish rack was enough to send me running for the door – not to mention the hoards of retirees with trains on their shirts and wide dark sunglasses that fit over their bifocals.   

Our fine campsite is adjacent to the fluorescently illuminated restrooms, making us feel like we are camping in the middle of a city.  Nothing like a urine smell to make you appreciate the outdoors.  Good thing that the 2000 foot granite walls more than make up for the camping situation…hopefully we can change sites soon!  I guess the good news is that we can find our way to the restroom in the middle of the night…my bet is that those fluorescent bulbs stay on all night and keep us nice and awake.  Sigh.  

Andy:  15 years of climbing and I’ve never climbed in the Valley.  I’ve had my excuses – heat, crowds, and campsites.  The reality… I’ve just been too scared to play ball.  

In this land of chimneys and offwidths, what better climb to start on then a polished, greasy, squeeze chimney.  Uncle Fanny’s.  

Wake up call to Valley climbing.  

I sure didn’t find the 5.7 way up this thing.  Grunting, groaning, moaning, scratching, clawing… it wasn’t pretty – and my knees and elbows are bruised proof.  My favorite new move was the no hands & no feet rest – I just wedged my bony hips into the flaring crack and wiggled my arms and legs free like a bug.  Unfortunately, Wendy’s “birthing hips” didn’t offer her the relaxing ass rest and there were even more expletives coming from her than me.  What we lacked in technique we made up with determination, blood, and stupidity.   As the guidebook mentioned regarding this climb – “a fine prelude to a valley of demanding cracks.” Right.  And the next group up flailed as well, so it wasn't just me!

Bishop’s Terrace (5.8), which offered glorious hand jams on smooth rock, was a much better adventure than the torturous squeeze box.  

Hand jams, good.  Chimneys, bad.    And CampingWorld has nothing to do with camping.

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